So let’s just call him, Tom…. Tom made it pretty clear from the start he did not want anything but a physical relationship, which I was totally cool with at this point in my life. Now that we’ve hooked up a bit I’m just kind of over it and now he is texting me constantly and when I don’t reply he’s like HELLOOOOO!?….HEY?!?!?….BABE?!
I’M NOT YOUR FUCKING BABE. EW. STOP.
The sex is good, yeah. He’s 6’5, cute, wealthy, and extremely intelligent. But I am just not that interested in texting you on a daily basis. We don’t have a whole lot in common. You’re a grad student majoring in Economics. WTF DO I KNOW ABOUT ECONOMICS? NOTHING. Why do we need to text all the time? I will text you when I wanna fuck. That is literally all I need from you. And now I kind of don’t even want to fuck you anymore. Now that I have shown how un-interested I am in anything but his dick it seems he now wants something more from me and I just am not feeling it. We were supposed to hang out this weekend and now I’m going to need to find an excuse to bail because I just don’t even want to deal with that right now.
And then there is, let’s call him Adam. Adams cute, tall, plays guitar, and we can hang out and we get along pretty well. But I dunno. I really liked him when I first met him and I could tell he just wanted to fuck and I wasn’t down. Well now I am down but there is just something about him that is bothering me. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s a Virgo and I can just see it in his personality. Now that he knows I’m down and don’t care if all I’m getting from him is physical he is being kind of similar to Tom. Like i had to cancel the last time we were supposed to hangout and he got all pissy about it. I’m sorry but I have a life that does not revolve around fucking you. And before he would rarely text me just to talk and now he is doing that and I’m just like uuuuuhmmm….I dunno. I just have an off feeling and I don’t know what to do about that.
But then there is, well let’s call this one Robert. I’ve been hanging out with him since January. Robert is 29 and he plays guitar beautifully. He has tattoos and he’s sooooo fucking handsome. We enjoy the same types of music. He gets me. I can be myself around him. I hadn’t made it apparent to him that I had any feelings for him because he is really attractive and I didn’t think he would ever see me that way. Well, recently he told me he thinks I’m “beautiful” and that I have an amazing voice and blah blah blah. Still, I am hesitant to make it apparent that I actually like him.
So recently while just watching movies with him at his house he puts his arm around me and I’m just like OH GOD. Then he pulls me in towards him and snuggles up with me. At this point I am having a heart attack inside. So then he kisses me and I’m like alright fuck it let’s do this. So we started making out pretty intensely. Hands are going all over the place. I stop. I realize if I didn’t stop then I would have slept with him and I didn’t wanna do that right away.
So I go home and I have not seen him since. It’s been almost a week now. We’ve texted a lot since then and he is just SO FUCKING CONFUSING. So I kind of was being flrty with him via-text and he was responsive. I wasn’t letting him know i actually like him I was more just hinting that we should hang out and finish what we started. And now he is just being weird. He is also recently sober and I get that part I guess. But like he was kind of pissing me off so I just straight up told him, look, I just wanna fuck dude. Obviously, not in those words but i got the point across. And then he’s like “Well, I’m afraid…of feelings.” And I said “What feelings? On your side or mine? Because I can compartmentalize the emotional from the physical, you really don’t need to worry about that.” And he’s like “No, on my side. Im just fucked up emotionally.” I know he has had a really hard time getting over his ex and I am toooootally sympathetic to that but come on dude. You are 29, almost 30. You are a man. If anything, I should be worried about feelings because out of all the guys I’m seeing/talking to right now he is the one I would actually date if given the opportunity.
Anyways I just really don’t get it. Obviously he is at least physically attracted to me or why even put the moves on me in the first place? I told him I am not trying to be his fucking girlfriend or ask anything more from him than a physical relationship. Aren’t men supposed to be able to fuck women without there being “feelings?” Like really man you are making this waaay more complicated than it needs to be. Shut the fuck up, and let’s fuck. I DON’T UNDERSTAND. I’m like borderline not even going to talk to him anymore because this shit is just retarded and I like you and I’d really love to fuck you but all of this nonsense is sooooo not worth it.
I guess the moral of the story is, act like i don’t give a fuck and Robert will suddenly like me? It seems to work pretty well.
Anyways I just needed to vent and I didn’t know where else to go. Nobody has m link to this thing anyways.